Musings

Being that this is my first try at a book and I am being relatively lax with production, I find that I may have probated better. I know where I am and where I am going and the stops along the way. I however, find myself struggling with the details. Like I randomly picked Malibu and that lead me to Pepperdine and then to beaches close to them. Okay maybe it wasn’t all random, I wanted to be within a long road trip to Vegas, a place with beaches and a college. Anyway, now I am researching things that would have been better done earlier. So mostly, I am saying it might be a good idea to do more outlining and research before you embark. I do live doing things the hard way.

First or Third?

I realized I started writing with the intention of writing in third person. I quickly when to the comfort of the first person. Since really at this point this is something that is fun and therapeutic, I think I am going to see if I can rewrite what I have now in the third person and see what voice seems right.

What I do know is that the books I tend to gravitate to are in the third person. The last two books I couldn’t get past the second chapter we in first person. I am not really sure if it was just dry bland story telling or that it is hard for me to read first person. It might have a bit of both.

I also know that first person is easier for me to write in. I like to have a strong main character. I am loving the books that have a variety of characters or two main and we get to see the story unfold for all. This mean you have to write in third person.

So the ramblings of a hobbyist writer. I am finding this undertaking a point of growth and challenge and that I do like.

Why I am writing?

I have had a hard time writing about my experience in my journal. Writing about myself some how in my mind makes those things real forever. Writing it down makes me deal with biggest sources of shame to the forefront. Once I write it down, I must own it. Truly, I don’t think I want take stock on jet how out of control I was. I do need to sort it all up. So my mind started to weave a story for me. It is a way I can come to terms with aspects of my past in a less abrasive way. So I would think about the main character and I started to dream her. While there are some things in this story that are 100% me. There is a lot of friends and learning more about what it means to be bipolar. Also learning what manic looks like to others. So while I hope one day that a crap ton of people will find this story interesting and read it. I am hoping that writing this book will help me process my past and help me move forward with my life.