Chapter 2 Third Person Rewrite


Art appreciation, it is such an easy class after a night of very little sleep.  Avi was still full of energy.  Hannah always complained that she didn’t have the energy that Avi had after a paltry three hours of sleep. Struggling to concentrate, Avi sat staring at Ryan the yummy black haired surfer sat three rows ahead front and center. It didn’t take long for Avi to lose the battle against her imagination. She couldn’t help but to get lost in his behind.

Searching his emerald eyes for permission Avi reached to grab his black hair. She loved the silky feel of his locks. She saw the agreement in his eyes and quickly went on her toes leaning in as he tilted his head forward. The kiss set Avi on fire and she delved further into the kiss. Avi looked into those green eyes and kissed his chin then licked down his neck. She gave a love bite with a moan. Grabbing his t-shirt, he removed it. Avi then got a view of all of his tribal ink. She couldn’t help herself. She used her tongue to trace the ink. He grabbed her hair roughly to bring her back to his mouth. A scorching kiss ensued.  Avi sighed into him mouth,” Ryan.”

 Avi brought her hands to his chest and pushed him back onto the bed. Quickly she straddled him. He rose up taking her shirt off as he came.  He discovered a black lace bra with abundant cleavage.  He reached behind her to release the clasp; releasing an ample supply of breast to enjoy. As soon as her breast were freed, his mouth and hands covered them.  Avi let out a moan of appreciation.  Her nipples were hard and ached. She felt her pussy gush.  Wanting him more with each breathe.  She reached to him waist band and started to undo…

 “Avi,” Hannah called. “Where did you go? Class is over.  Did you sleep through it?”

Avi shook her head. Gave a nod to Ryan, “Sometimes I have the best daydreams.  You interrupted just as it was getting really good. I hope to find out one day if he is as good in bed as I think.”

“Didn’t you get into enough trouble last night? Plus, Ryan has a girlfriend.” Hannah pointed out to Avi.  She had always been the one to keep me in check.

Avi laughed, “Oh Hans. We are all adults and she is more than welcome to join us. She is HOT and I would gladly have her on her own.” Hannah shot Avi a glare making certain Avi was fully aware of her displeasure. Avi as always wasn’t deterred. “So, did you hear about the party over at Jill’s? I want to go.  Let’s go tonight.  It is sure to be fun.  You know you want to go.”

“How are you still on your feet?  I don’t think you have slept for days.” Hannah was right, Avi hadn’t slept for days. It wasn’t the first time and likely wouldn’t be the last. She had energy enough for days. “You really need to take a night in to recoup.  You need to take care of yourself plus it is a Thursday Avi.”

“Thursday is just pre-Friday.” Avi declared as she rolled her eyes. “You just happen to be no fun. I know you hate being my babysitter.  You stay home.  I need to get this energy out.  I am definitely going out.”

The look Hannah was giving let Avi know she had won.  Avi had an intense for Hannah. Clearly, she needed to make sure she knew just how much. If Avi knew anything is that she couldn’t lose Hannah. She needed Hannah.

Getting ready to head out the girls turned up the radio and giddily danced around the bathroom.  The room was filled with laughter and chatter. Avi couldn’t remember the last time it was just the two of them having a little fun. Leave it to Hannah to press pause on the fun. “Rules for the night, Avi. One, we go together, and we leave together. Two, if you can’t follow rule one, make sure I know just where you are headed and with who. I love you, Avi.  No ditching me again.” Avi was sure that they were both aware that she wouldn’t be following rule one or rule two.  She was forever disappointing Hannah.  Avi really needed to do better with Hannah.

Demi Lovato’s Sorry Not Sorry was blaring as we walk in the door. Three blonde princesses were on the counter dancing while the boys below worshiped at their feet.  The royal family was holding court. Avi laughed as the boys showed no shame in making sure they got a good view.  There was jockeying for better position. The party was raucous. With a quick look around Avi could see that the living room was past capacity and there was barely any room in the kitchen. As Avi made her way through the crowd, she knew just where she was heading. She was going to add some brown to the trio of blonds. She had worn mini floral purple number sans the panties.  A few drunk guys helped her up on the counter while copping a feel.  Boys they never did surprise you. For Avi that just meant she knew which boys were eager to get her naked.  Avi liked knowing the quickest way to a next fix. Avi’s body was vibrating with need. Sex was the only thing on her mind.  The question really was the form in which the sex was going to happen. Once Avi was atop the counter with the three blonds, she looked out into the crowd at the red locks curling around the Hannah’s face.  We caught eyes and she mouthed,” I’m not joining you.” Then she pointed to the living room. Avi was always amused when she recognized that she hadn’t even had a drink.

Avi was sandwiched between to two blonds. The taller blond was her height.  The 5’8” tall Caribbean blue-eyed siren nestled he toned body to her back and the tiny pixie with the hair to matched and stood just over 5’ looked up to me with her emerald eyes.  In true Avi fashion, she couldn’t stop a sexual action when it came to mind. She reached down to the pixie then swooped in for a passionate kiss. The commoners below began cheering for more.  So Avi pulled the pixie closer, reached behind her and had the lady long legs and pixie swept into a kiss before they even realized it. She ran her hands down the ladies and cupped their asses in tandem.  Oh this night is going to be good.  Avi one if not both ladies will be with you and soon. Avi then kissed long legs and pixie put her hand up my dress.  No panties is my jam just for this reason. So easy to move things along.

The raucous crowd grew louder. Energy at these parties overwhelmed her senses and fueled her desires. The leggy vixen and the cute pixie and Avi danced for a few songs. She wasn’t sure you could call it dancing when it was more like dry humping.  Yeah, so done with this. Time to move from dry to actual humping. Avi grabbed the hand of her pixie and made her way off the table.  She looked up at the long-legged blond to find her shaking her head.  That was fine with Avi because she could always find another willing body. Avi felt alive as the music pulsed its way through her body. She wasn’t forgetting that surprise in the emerald eyed beauties eyes when she kissed her.  This little one was a treat she couldn’t wait to have.  She needed something more tonight.  She needed a penis.  Really any penis would do. Yep that hunky football player will do.  He towered over me at over six feet.  Avi loved seeing the small and large together. She grabbed his hand. He looked confused until Avi pointed at him and then between the blond and herself. Once he caught understanding, he guided them to a room Avi knew too well.  Yes, a fun night for all Avi thought.

The blued eyed tight end wasn’t sure what to do when we reached a quiet room towards the back of the house.  Avi looked at him and whispered, “If you want it take it.” His hotness didn’t waste a moment and took me in for a kiss while I guide my pixies hand to his cock. Avi loved the moments when the debauchery began.  She felt such euphoria. There wasn’t a feeling that she could find that compared.   Avi grabbed Mr. Big and Beautiful by the cock with one hand and took to the pixie’s mouth again. The kiss was hard and needy. Avi needed this kiss like she needed air.  Blue eyes nibbled at my neck and the pixie and I had him disrobed in no time.  Avi liked to be in charge.  She in short order had herself positioned at the head of the bed, the pixie on her knees and the hunk taking her from behind. She loved watching the large man take this little woman who was devouring her. Soon they had all come were exhausted in a pile. Quickly, Avi had recovered then kissed them both goodbye. Avi looked over her shoulder one last time as she walked out to see Mr. Blue Eyes and Pixie in what she would term one hot ass kiss. This wouldn’t be the first time she had formed a new and lasting couple.  Avi didn’t do relationships though, who needed those when you could have sex with as many people who are willing and even better if there were more than one willing at any given time.  No one needed to get tied up in love and feelings and shit. Oh my GOD, Avi thought, that just made me want more.


Jeremiah had come to this fancy shindig to look for one person and one person only, Avi! That woman left him wanting more.  While it had been fun to share, he wanted her and just her. He wasn’t sure why there was the draw to this woman. Everyone knew Aviana was never going to be caught.  Really, he knew it as well, but he couldn’t help but want to capture his butterfly. He knew that the only way to get her in his bed was to share with her with Alex. Now that he had her, he was going find a way to keep her.  As he searched the crowd, he found Evan. Evan was sitting with Avi’s best friend Hannah.  Evan had texted him earlier to know that they would be here tonight. Jeremiah’s stalker behavior was paying off tonight. Jeremiah made his way to the pair. Hmm, the pair looked cute.  Lucky Evan had been drawn to the safe friend. Jeremiah, he knew he had always been pulled to the bad girls.

 Ah, speaking of bad girls, Jeremiah sensed her entering the room. He looked up to her scanning the room. He saw a smile on Avi’s face as their eyes met. Alright, she remembers me too. Jeremiah’s awareness of Avi’s tendency to only have one night with any partners had him a bit cautious.  The smile on her face gave him hope. What was it with this girl? He knew she was hard to handle. Her deep tanned skin, curly long dark hair and those pensive inky eyes pulled at him. Avi was heading straight for him.  Excitement pulsed off his skin.

The distance between them finally breached, she up looked at him, “Jeremiah, right?” His throat tightened. He wasn’t sure if he could speak. He nodded. Avi grabbed his hand. His heartbeat accelerated. He knew taking her hand meant a trip down the rabbit’s hole, but he was holding on for dear life. Everything in him in him wanted her.

Avi stopped in front of Hannah. She spoke with her a little dropped her keys in her hand and laughed as she pulled me along. “Where Is your car? We are headed to my place.” Jeremiah pulled her to the car right down the block.  He opened the door for her. Helped her onto her seat. Then finally finding his voice, “Where are we headed, Avi?”





Chapter 1 Third Person Rewrite



Aviana hadn’t even opened her eyes as she languidly started to stretch.  She thought it odd this weight pinning her to the bed.  She lifted one eyelid and then squinted at the vulgar sunshine. Her eyes adjusting to the intrusion, she finally opens her eyes.  Peering back at her was possibly the most stunning set of blue eyes the world had ever known. Deep sapphire blue was at the center and they faded to the soft sky blue on the edges. His face was framed by a strong jaw that was stunning. His sun-bleached hair made him look innocent.  Avi wandered, how was this god-like man allowed to walk with us mere mortals?

The bed adjusted on Avi’s other side. NO no, no, no. Wait. Not again. What are their names? Oh, Avi you don’t know their names, again? Yes again.  Nope not take that guilt trip. A deep baritone warmed her body. “Hey there you sexy thing.” She crooked her neck to look at the man behind her.  There had to be a sexy man attached to that voice.  If he wasn’t that voice may just be wasted.  Please, please, please be another god. When she met a pair of hazel eyes with golden flecks. She slowly perused this new body. Avi was happy with what she saw, black adjacent curly hair flopped into those hazel eyes. He was muscled and tan. He looked like he could be a Greek god.

Avi as about to speak when that velvety sound filled the again. “I am Jeremiah and that sexy beast is Alex.  We didn’t exchange names last night.” She looked at Jeremiah and thought, things could have been worse.  Here she was lying in bed with two of the sexiest god-like creatures on earth. “Hey, my name is Aviana.  Just call me Avi.” Maybe last night wasn’t all bad. No Avi this is always bad. Who does this? She looks between the two men taking up the remainder of the bed. She was certain this might be the best way to start the day.

“So, it was great to meet you, it has been fun.” Last night was flooding into her memory. Well this is awkward. This can’t keep happening. What is the protocol for this? Do I do the walk of shame twice? As she began to move, she felt an arm reach out. She was looking into those hazel eyes and a smooth grin that had his dimples in view. She couldn’t help but smile. Avi’s heart did a little stutter.  Jeremiah framed her face and brought her in for a forceful kiss. He consumed her.  She felt the lips of Alex on the back of her neck. Her head fell back on a moan.  Jeremiah came back in for a kiss.  It was deep, steamy and full of longing.  The question was clear, Are we doing this again? Well Avi, In for a penny in for a pound. She reached for Jeremiah’s neck and down the rabbit hole.




Hannah was waiting at the window again. She was separated from Avi at some point last night. Hannah was worried as she paced in front of the window. She worried about her best friend.  Avi had been with her since they were eight. Avi brought joy and chaos into a room. People either hated or loved my favorite person. Hannah thought about all the times she waited for Avi. It was so hard to love her. Worrying was part of loving her.  People have come and gone from her life, it is hard to stay. Hannah looked down at her phone and realized it was time to reach out and make sure Avi was okay.


Hannah-Where are you? I am getting really worried. It is past 9 and class starts at 10.  I searched the house and you are no where to be found. 


Common Avi. You need to be home.  Hannah continues to pace. Is it possible to worry a hole into hardwood.


Hannah-Avi, I am not humored.  Where are you?  Do I need to contact your dad?  You have 10 mins.


Her worry continued to grow.  One of these days, she is going to get into trouble that we can’t help with.


Avi-On my way Hans. I just had a fantastic time. It was two for the price of one.  I enjoyed the play.  Be home in 10 mins.


Hannah knew that Avi was going to fall once she got home. She always did. It was so easy and so hard to love Avi.  Hannah was sure she had never known a friend to love as fiercely as Avi. Her love was intense, hard to handle and impossible for Hannah to walk away from no matter the amount of crazy that seemed to come with it.




The smell in Aviana’s car was one that you could just call shame.  It was a mix of Jeremiah, Alex, Avi, sex and a slurry of bodily fluids. The feeling was so good until Avi was alone.  She now knew it for what it was another way she was disappointing her friends and family.  Her parents were so happy to have Hannah at the same school.  She knew that they believed that Hannah would help keep her in check. Avi had turned wild at the age of 15. Hannah kept by her side.  She was so good to her.  Avi was certain that Hans was regretting going to the same college.  Hans was always babysitting Avi. She had to stay up late nights and sleep was rare for Avi’s best friend. Avi knew that she was luckier than most in the friend department. Avi hoped that all her antics wouldn’t chase Hans away.  It would kill her.


Avi screeched to a halt, jumped out of the car and streaked into the house. “Hey, Hans, I am here.  Taking a showing and will be out shortly.”


Avi hear a solid, “Yeah, Yeah.” She loved Hannah.


Avi stepped into her shower. Warm water ran down her head and down her long dark hair. She loved the feel of hands rough in her hair. Avi looked back on the night. Her body was sore.  The shame came and went. Right now as her scalp still felt the tingle from this morning, she was overwhelmed by the shame. Avi knew she was a disappointment when the voices in her head got any amount of silence. She shifted her back to the still cold tile. Leaning her head back unable to hold back the tears. She had the shame inducing offending clothes right out of the open shower door. As the water continued to flow she prayed that the shame would finally wash away.  How many times will you let this happen, Avi?  She picked up her head knowing that classes would be starting.  She turned off the water and stepped onto the floor.  Grabbing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a quick ponytail in her hair and she was ready to go. Stepping back into her room, she saw Hannah on her bed books on her lap.




Hannah looked up as Avi stepped into the room. “So, do you want to talk about it?” Hannah softly queried.


“You don’t want to be late to class, Hans.” Avi was clearly annoyed Hannah knew that she was fussy because of last night.  Hannah hated seeing her this way.  There were times she felt like Avi’s enabler. Hannah knew Avi was no drug addict at times she did wonder if Avi was a sex addict.


“We have to talk about this, Avi. You know that you are destroying yourself.  I see the tear stains. The shower doesn’t cover that. I love you. I want to help.  Nothing you do will make me leave.  We have been Havi since grade school.” Hannah lifted her pinky finger and Avi accepted.


“Havi for life girl. I am not ready to talk it out yet. It is always so amazing in when it happens. It is new and amazing.  I try new things. I only want more. Then I am alone, and my surroundings are empty, and my head gets full.  Let’s get going. We have art appreciation in less than an hour.”



Chapter 3.5

Jeremiah shivers. I pullback and take in the picture. His penis is a beautiful thing. His thick shaft is a special treat. It is time to fully indulge myself. I greedily take in the tip again then slowly make my way down. Once I have him in my mouth as fully as I can take him in this car, I ya my hand to grip his base. I stroke him at the same pace. Slowly at first. The tempo get more ravenous with each passing. The hand and mouth working in tandem with pleasuring Jeremiah the sole goal. I wrap my tongue around his cock and increase the pressure. I quicken the pace and feel the pulsing that happens right before a man comes. Screaming my name, pulling off the road to regroup, Jeremiah pants and struggles to regain his control.

Chapter 3.3

Jeremiah looked me over with those obsidian eyes. Clearly reading my mind, “I ran into Hannah on my way out.” That explains it. “Did you even sleep last night?” I respond quickly, “Not much. Sleep is overrated.”  I won’t tell him I got a whopping zero minutes of sleep. People always think it is weird. It is clear that he still harbors some concern.  Not sure how to get him comfortable, I start to fidget as his assessment continues.  I can fell his eyes caressing my body head to toe.  Then he smiles at me.  I take the donut and coffee he still has in his hand.  I take a large bite of my donut gazing at his body which rivals my donut in deliciousness.

“So, I was thinking we could spend the day together,” exclaims the all too hot man in front of me grabbing the back of his neck and pulling.  His clear uncertainty has me excited. Well he hasn’t been scared away yet. I recline slightly to get a better view to assess him. Jeremiah is leaning on my dresser. 

Jeremiah stands reaches his hand out and waits for me to grab it. What am I waiting for? Why do weary? Rena you know you love an adventure. Ready! Set! Go! My eyes meet his and I put my hand on his. The excitement has me near to shaking. I am always ready to go. I sure hope that I won’t be disappointed.

We reach Jeremiahs 1971 AMC Javelin. A color that can i it be called cherry red but AMC was too unoriginal to call it anything but Trans-Am red. I mean reality red or roaming red or yeah anhthungelse. How did a car this sexy end up with such a horrible color moniker. I did always have a thing for bad boys with classic pony cars. I mean if it wasn’t true before it is now. This boy is hot! I nearly trip on my tongue as I take in the boy and the car. This is going to be a brilliant day.


Chapter 3.2

I make it back to the house to Jeremiah but was no longer there. I search him out in the large home, I just can’t find him.  I go outside and his car is gone.  Into the shower I head.  Why would he leave? I had plans for him. Spending the day was my agenda.  Now I will spend my weekend alone.  I am sure that no one understands a demi-god. I discard my clothes in a pile on the floor as I step into the shower.  My body aches and I am feeling emotionally raw as I turn on the water.  The hot water strikes my body with the force made to take down a giant then is cascades over my body. The heat overwhelms and I take two steps back until my knees hit the cold tile and drops me to the seat.  As soon as I am out of the spray, I miss the punishment it grants me.  He left me.  He just left me.  No one stays for me. Why doesn’t anyone stay? I stand.  I reach for my abuse as I walk under the water again.  I adjust the head and I fold into the floor as a torrent of tears overtakes me.

The scalding water turns my skin bright red. My mind wonders how the one love of my life could just walk away so quickly. How could he not know that he is my one, my completion? Just like always, the ones I love leave me. Even now Han has left me in my greatest time of need. She should be here. How could she just not come home in this serious time of need? She hates you. She always has. My parents probably pay her to continue on as my friend. I can trust her. She stays around just to watch me. My parents keep her here as there lackey. She doesn’t really care if. I need to put her off my game. This is why she isn’t here. She is trying to make me look bad. She wants me to fail. My parents just want me to come home.

What was that? Is there someone in my room? I slide up the wall. I remain quite and my tears dry up. I leave the shower running. I open the door and quietly step out of the shower. Grabbing a towel I head to the closet in my enormous bathroom. I get to the door and step quickly in. There is definitely someone in my room. “Rena,” the voice below. “Rena? Are you in the shower?” I know the voice. “Jeremiah,” I question. “I went to get us some coffee and breakfast. I thought for sure I would make it back before you missed me,” he stated. His voice calm with no awareness of how sad I was without him. “I just got out of the shower. The noise scared me.” The bathroom door is opened quickly. He gives me a once over. “I really did scare you.”

In a couple quick strides, he makes his way to the shower to turn it off. He turns and heads to me. He grabs me by the back of my neck, bends to me and kisses my head and slowly dries me off. I choose my clothes and Jeremiah and his mystery leads me to my bed, sits me down and hands me a chocolate cream donut and a peppermint mocha. How does he know what I like so much? He brought me all my favorites.

Chapter 3.1

The sun rose and the light invaded. I rose with no sleep. I walked to the closet pulled out my running shoes and workout clothes. I quickly readied myself and wrote Jeremiah a note. This part of town was safe. We lived on the beach. My dad was a tech billionaire. I say we loosely. This was our beach home. My parents only came to visit a couple of times a year. They purchased this home when I got accepted into Pepperdine. I was quickly out the door and down to the beach path. I wasn’t sure just how long I was going to run but it was likely going to be a long one since it was five in the morning.

I loved when I had all this extra energy. I was never quite sure where I got it or how long it would last but I felt alive. It seemed electricity was buzzing right below the surface of my skin.  Sometimes I couldn’t help but itch. I began my run with one step in front of the other.  My pace quickened and my mind ran at the same pace. I hoped this hard pace would wear out my mind as well as my body. The harder I pushed the louder my thoughts grewLast week I ran in to Sarah, she smiled but I am sure she hates me.  I know that she is out to make Hannah leave me.  Why does is Hannah still my friend.  I always disappoint her.  I  left without her again, maybe that is that last step.  She is going to leave me my only friends.  Finals are next week. I don’t need to study.  I am so smart.  I am special.  I am made for something great.  I might be a demi-god.  The fact that I don’t have to study and always pass, clearly means that I am smarter than humans and I must be something more.  This is why Sarah is trying to tear Hans and I apart.  She is jealous. She wishes she was a demi-god.  The thoughts went on and on as I ran.  Instead of getting more quiet, they grew louder,  Why can’t I get my mind to shut up.  I just want a little peace. I can’t wait to get back to Jeremiah.  I was able to quiet my head with him.



Chapter 2.3

Managing to make it to my place before Jeremiah, I ran and did a quick clean. I grabbed my toys and set them out. Just in case we wanted them. I rushed to the door when it knocked. Jeremiah grinned his full wattage smile. Those lips, that smile had me thinking about how they feel all over me. Those deep chestnut eyes roam my body and his smile turns into a knowing grin. Before I knew what to do, he has grabbed the back of my neck coming in until our foreheads touch. Charged air fills the room. Our breath mingles. His eyes deepen and his face turns serious. Seeking my truth his gaze digs for something more. He licks his lips and exhales, “Serena, I am glad I have you to myself tonight. I hope tonight never ends.” Then the wave of passion was pressed upon me as his lips crashed into mine.

Tonight was all about need. I needed this. I needed this rough and scary. I needed to lose all control. My hands roams up his chiseled body, wrapped around his neck and grabbed his hair. I pulled him colored and harder and our teeth clashed. I bit the lip he lick. His finders entwined in mine and he pulled me back. The heated look focused on me gave chills. God I hoped that tonight never did end. “You will be mine,” Jeremiah growled. His hurried hands explored my body finally cupping my breasts. The shirt was removed quickly by one super horny girl. Yeah that super horny girl was me. I wanted more and more. I was famished but drowning in a sea. Wait….How will I be his? Who am I kidding? Just don’t stop!

Not ready to disappoint, Jeremiah didn’t stop. No he kept going. My body sang as he pinched a nipple or licked my neck. It was like last night was all about an intro class and tonight he decided to skip the advanced course and move straight to expert. I moaned and screamed and pleaded for more. More of what you might ask. Oh you know like everything. He pulled my hair, sucked my pussy, lavished on my breasts and fucked me in just about all my holes. I wanted more of it all. Oh and let’s not forget the toys but moving you on. This lasted until we were exhausted. Then we showered and the energy was back. We continued on. Finally we were stretched out on my king sized bed. My orange striped comforter half on us. Jeremiah’s eyes were drooping and he was off to sleep has I looked out my window at the sun coming up.

Why I am writing?

I have had a hard time writing about my experience in my journal. Writing about myself some how in my mind makes those things real forever. Writing it down makes me deal with biggest sources of shame to the forefront. Once I write it down, I must own it. Truly, I don’t think I want take stock on jet how out of control I was. I do need to sort it all up. So my mind started to weave a story for me. It is a way I can come to terms with aspects of my past in a less abrasive way. So I would think about the main character and I started to dream her. While there are some things in this story that are 100% me. There is a lot of friends and learning more about what it means to be bipolar. Also learning what manic looks like to others. So while I hope one day that a crap ton of people will find this story interesting and read it. I am hoping that writing this book will help me process my past and help me move forward with my life.

Chapter 2.2

I see the moment when blue eyes makes his choice and his mouth come crashing into mine. Yes, blue eyes, yes. Oh this is gonna be fun. My little pixie glides her tiny fingers up my stomach to my breasts. The tremble her digits create only increases my excitement. The tug on my hair by blue eyes catches my attention. The push and pull of my attention that these two are providing invigorates me. Soon we are on the bed in a tumble limbs removing clothes. I am lost in the passion and the thrill.

Once all three were satisfied, it is time to move on. Fully clothed again. Kissing the head of the pixie and blue eyes, I turn on my heels and seek out Hannah, seeing her I wave. Hannah is standing with Evan from her Business Law class. She looks so good with him. Seeing she is doing fine. Seeking more trouble she saw Jeremiah sitting on the couch.  Maybe he can become my new favorite toy. Making my way through the crowded floor.  plopping down next to Jeremiah. “Hey handsome. Any plans for the night?” Quick with a response, “I do now. Let’s get out of here.”

Pulling him up, I look at Hannah and wave her over. She is still with Evan.  “Evan can get you home right?” Yep.  I knew that I was getting that look. I really need to stop doing this to her.  She may be my last friend. Evan nodded. “Rena, this has to be the last you do this. I can’t keep doing this. Watching you do this again and again. I worry about you.” Looking at the sadness in Hannah’s eyes made her want to change. If only I could.  I reached for Jeremiah’s hand and asked, ” Your place or mine?  Did you bring your car?” He had brought his car and my place it was. Apparently, Jeremiah didn’t want to share tonight.


Chapter 1 complete

Slowly stirring she opens each eye in a leisurely fashion. Slowly exposing her hazel with bright green fleets. Her toned, tanned harms stretch above her head. While noticing her naked body, the weight draped across her becomes apparent. Where am I? The furnishings are sparse. Definitely a college guys place.

As the memories from the night before flood her. A voice breaks through the noise clambering through her head. “Hey there sexy lady, ” the velvety baritone voice mutters. Crap. Crap. Crap. What is his name? I can’t even blame alcohol this time. How did I manage to do this again? Yes again! Don’t judge me! I pursue the sexy man beside me. Clearly, he cares about the way he looks. The tall man beside her is chiseled. His skin is is light next to mine. Wow than man is yummy.

Realizing that there is another body in the bed. Reminder to self, always ask for names. So much less embarrassing. Finally able to speak, “This might sound silly but what are your names? I am Serena. I am pretty sure we didn’t exchange names.” A pair of piercing blue eyes and a wide smile that brings out one adorable dimple. “I am Alex and he is Jeremiah. No we didn’t exchange names Serena.” Still looking at those enchanting eyes. Yep. I know how I ended up here. His shaggy dirty blonde hair catches my attention. I lift my hand to run my finger through his lovely locks. By the look he is giving me, it is clear he isn’t sure what to make of me. Who does this?  A little unnerved by his focus.

Turning my head I take in Jeremiah. I languidly take in his body. Delicious! No no, Serena! It is always and I mean always bad to wake up with two naked men you don’t know. I didn’t remember their names. I am going to hell, I want a repeat of last night. Jeremiah is opposite from hunky Alex. Jeremiah has black adjacent hair with curls. His darker skin looks sun kissed. His eyes are the darkest brown I have ever seen. His curls fall on his forehead as he shifts his face to me. Once we meet eyes his precarious smile breaks through.

These two are a dangerous duo. My heart flutters looking in Jeremiah’s eyes. He is breathtaking. I look back to Alex,”Well fellas, I am happy to finally be properly introduced.” Well this is awkward! I have got to stop this. So what is the protocol for this? Do I do the walk of shame twice? Whatever this is, I am going with it.

Just as I am about to stumble of the bed with my feet wrapped in the sheets, strong arms wrap around me. Graceful.  I am pulled back in by the tall man that was sitting next to me by the name of Alex. I wind up facing Jeremiah and getting spooned by Alex who is now nibbling my neck. A giggle leaves my lips and chills are running down my spine in anticipation. Jeremiah has pulled in for a deep and steamy kiss and this will be round four. The memories from last night are giving me hope for the next few…we’ll however long it takes. In for a penny in for a pound. Truly if there have already been three rounds, does four really make a difference? Shame is the last thing on my mind. As I dive into a kiss that was hard and passion filled with sexy Jeremiah. Soon she was drowning in the caress of two men. What a way to start the day.


I can smell the shame on me. This always happens as I come home. Looking in the mirror not sure of who is looking back at me.  How do I always do this?  Not sure how she made every bad decision possible.  She stripped down and climbed in the shower. Like always I don’t know who the person is in the mirror. Stripped naked of the offending clothes they lay in a pile at my feet. I reach for the door to make sure it is locked. I step into the shower before I let the tears fall. Hoping that the water will wash away last

night and the early day. The tile is still cold as I brace my arm against it. I pluck my head against my arm and let the tears stream. How many times? Allowing myself to wallow for only a little.

Pulling on my jeans and hoody for the day, I bolt to the car keys in hand, picking up a granola bar and a soda along the way. The backpack is full and in the car. I have to pick up Hannah and I need to fly if we are going to make it to Econ 200 on time.

Me-Hey, on my way.

Hannah-Where did you go last night?


Hannah-Do I even want to know?

Me-Probably not. We can talk once I pick you up for class.

“Hannah, you gotta hurry. We are gonna be late,” I bellow as she comes running to the car. “Thanks for the ride. My mom’s car gets out of the shop tomorrow.” Making our way to campus in a rush, I tell Hannah all there is to know about the Jeremiah and Alex situation. “Seriously,” she sighs, “how do you have all this energy after hardly any sleep? I’d be a wreck after four hours of sleep.” I am sure this week I have only slept 10 hours and today is Thursday.

Hannah rolls her eyes as we reach the school parking lot.  “Rena, I worry about you.  One of these days you are gonna go home with the wrong guy.  You might really get hurt. Just think about it next time. Cause if there is anything I know about you, it is that there will be a next time.” I give her the look that says I hear you.  Go I love my best friend. We walk to class and take a seat. Time to get into some Economics.  Finals are next week.

Ah, supply side shift and how it changes consumer behavior. If that doesn’t sound fun then the graph that goes with it will have you clawing your eyes. Sitting three rows back and 5 chairs in I try to pay attention. Last night no longer weighs heavy on my heart, it is giving fuel to my mind. In the front row sits Ryan. Black as night tresses fall into his eyes. The beautiful curls have me imagining my hands running through them.

I lick the curve of his tribal tattoo as I slowly make my way back to his mouth. Grabbing his hair I tug it back. Searching his emerald eyes for his permission. I dive to his lips and slowly line the luscious lips with my tongue. His lips part making way as I plunge in for a deep, hard, hurried kiss. His eyes open wide and his arms wrap around me pulling me in.

Pushing him on his back, my legs cross over him. I straddle him on the floor. Removing his grey t-shirt to gain better access to his muscled body, I rub my hands across his rippling chest. I lower myself into his neck and I smell his scent. His tanned body is calling me like a siren. So I slowly look down his chest. I reach for his belt and unfasten the clasp.

“Serena, where did you go?” Hannah implores. “Class is over, get your stuff.” I shake my head to get the vision out of my head. “I was dreaming of Ryan over there,” I state as my haze starts lifting. “Oh my god, Rena! He has a girlfriend. Also weren’t you getting yourself into enough trouble last night?” Hannah contends. I am not really sure what her point is. I mean we were all adults. Plus who cares if they have girlfriends. Smugly I state, “His girlfriend can join us. She is hot too.” The disgusted look on Hannah tells me all I need to know.

“All right, so what are we up to tonight?” I ask. “Wow, just, wow, Rena. Aren’t you tired after last night? I can’t imagine you are ready for more tonight'” she shakes her head in disbelief. ” Tonight is pre-Friday, Hans. Or as you like to call it, Thursday. I have energy to spare. I can’t sleep. I neeeeed to get out. Come on, Hans! You know it will be fun,” pressing for a yes to a night of fun. “Fine, Rena! No ditching me this time. We go together and leave together. There is a party down fraternity row. We can check it out.” Hannah gives me the I am not joking if I get left again, I might actually kill you look. I have totally seen that look. Sad to say it comes out often. I am so lucky she is my best friend.